What do bathtub meth, beef, and Michael Bay have in common? They can all be found on your local legislator’s Twitter feed.

Sine Die! The session is over and Texas legislators have turned to Twitter to broadcast their very important, very official messages. Maybe they’re tired of having their professional pants on, or maybe the 86th session just left them feeling feisty. 

Either way, the summer break boredom of Texas lawmakers has inspired some ridiculous, bizarre, and downright hilarious tweets.

 

 

Food

Because lawmakers have to eat, too.

 

Rep. Sarah Davis (R-West University Place): Area Lawmaker Endorsed by Luby’s and Their Gross Fried Fish

SMITH 2020: This is fucking horrible https://t.co/CIEGd9HuB8

— Evan Smith (@evanasmith) July 9, 2019

Love the idea and love this! But we need to talk about that fried fish! It’s not supposed to be gross – DM us

— Luby’s (@lubys) July 9, 2019

 

 

Rep. Jared Patterson (R-Frisco): Jared Patterson Decides to Treat Himself

What’s one more taco

— Rep. Jared Patterson (@JaredLPatterson) June 25, 2019

 

 

Rep. Terry Canales (D-Edinburg): Terry Canales is “That Guy” at Work

It’s called the “Daddy Tax” in my house & it’s just added flavor. We should be thanking you!

— Dade Phelan (@DadePhelan) July 6, 2019

 

 

Rep. Chris Paddie (R-Marshall): Local Dad is Painfully Prideful Over Local Burger Chain

I love Whataburger. https://t.co/9c6lzBWoED

— Chris D. Paddie (@chrispaddie) June 15, 2019

 

 

Rep. Hubert Vo (D-Houston): Real Hamburger Stans Never Forget Their Roots

My staff knows how much I love hamburgers, so they got me this tie. Sadly no hamburgers came with it. #sinedie #txlege pic.twitter.com/Bhdfk3HK5F

— Hubert Vo (@HubertVo149) May 27, 2019

 

 

 

Animals

We wonder if they’ll put these pets on their Christmas cards.

 

Rep. Mary González (D-Clint): Local Lawmaker Has the GOAT and Took Glamour Shots to Prove It

To my OG (original goat) and my ride or die, Luna. She was my first goat (as an adult), and while I love all my goats, her and I have a special bond. She and I will just sit next to each other while I do e-mails or as I sing her songs. Can’t you just tell she is the Queen? #txag pic.twitter.com/vs0aKJOg6q

— Mary E. Gonzalez (@RepMaryGonzalez) July 28, 2019

 

 

Rep. Joe Moody (D-El Paso): Joe Moody Thinks Showers Are For Squares and Prides Himself On His Extensive Rubber Duck Collection

They always say it’s best to have your ducks in a row. #txlege pic.twitter.com/98xs5OQYjS

— Joe Moody (@moodyforelpaso) June 29, 2019

 

 

Rep. Drew Springer (R-Muenster): ???

Beef!!!

— Drew Springer (@DrewSpringer) July 26, 2019

 

 

 

Old-Timers

Can you hear me now?

 

Rep. Art Fierro (D-El Paso): Art Fierro Tests Twitter to Make Sure Life Isn’t A Simulation

@artfierro79 test

— Art Fierro (@art5464) May 30, 2019

 

 

Rep. Bill Zedler (R-Arlington): Lawmaker Tweets Message Meant for His Wife

BRB

— Bill Zedler (@Bill_Zedler) July 19, 2019

 

 

Rep. Todd Hunter (R-Corpus Christi): What is Swarm and Why Does Todd Hunter Drink Eight Cups of Coffee A Day?

I’m at Coffee Waves in Port Aransas, TX https://t.co/0CUxaYpY7O

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) August 1, 2019

I’m at Coffee Waves in Corpus Christi, TX https://t.co/GSjo1u1QCO pic.twitter.com/ClIoCykEhM

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 30, 2019

CRN (@ Coffee Waves Flour Bluff in Corpus Christi, TX) https://t.co/NaWpPC2gSN

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 26, 2019

I’m at Coffee Waves in Corpus Christi, TX https://t.co/EWltwmsOwG pic.twitter.com/oEmG87aReG

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 25, 2019

I’m at The Coffee Muggle in Corpus Christi, TX https://t.co/DLfFe84EAB pic.twitter.com/HboZAyBtRP

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 23, 2019

I’m at Island Joe’s Coffee & Gallery in Corpus Christi, TX https://t.co/WkhCEk73rl

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 22, 2019

I’m at Coffee Waves in Corpus Christi, TX https://t.co/XoUcWYZlF5 pic.twitter.com/1GKU2LxWKc

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 22, 2019

CRN (@ Coffee Waves Flour Bluff in Corpus Christi, TX) https://t.co/AB5Aq9NVIC

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 19, 2019

I’m at Coffee Waves in Corpus Christi, TX https://t.co/tlrb8Vjv4q pic.twitter.com/ZkHfbuaD6I

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 18, 2019

CC Coffee Club (at @SugarbakersCc in Corpus Christi, TX) https://t.co/rG3iwbgKqW

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 17, 2019

Great Place. Great Folks. And Great Coastal Coffee (@ Coffee Waves in Corpus Christi, TX) https://t.co/0M02IAPgEs pic.twitter.com/b3RAq5HiZ8

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 17, 2019

I’m at Coffee Waves in Corpus Christi, TX https://t.co/VUhhiRDa9i pic.twitter.com/SeBR43acvr

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 15, 2019

Cool drink on a Warm day. (@ Starbucks in Corpus Christi, TX) https://t.co/oOs3RJyTg0

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 14, 2019

I’m at The Coffee Muggle in Corpus Christi, TX https://t.co/mWwKWTRogW

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 13, 2019

CRN (@ Coffee Waves Flour Bluff in Corpus Christi, TX) https://t.co/clW7TAFvd4

— Todd Hunter (@toddahunter) July 12, 2019

 

 

 

Trolls

Not all trolls are anonymous.

 

Rep. Gene Wu (D-Houston): Texas Lawmaker Discusses Bathtub Meth and Michael Bay

Scooters don’t kill people.
Drivers in cars kill people.

— Evan (@evan7257) July 23, 2019

I mean I’m pretty sure that meth can kill people

— Evan (@evan7257) July 23, 2019

This is like watching a Michael Bay movie…

The story makes no sense and I have no idea what’s going on. But, damn, the explosions are awesome. https://t.co/j66RkyNEYR

— Gene Wu (@GeneforTexas) July 27, 2019

 

 

Rep. Charlie Geren (R-Fort Worth): Lawmaker is Definitely Posting Himself – This Is Not An Aide

Really dumb https://t.co/ak7ClEGAIa

— Charlie Geren (@charliegeren) July 1, 2019

Dumb already crowded https://t.co/g84sw3AxC1

— Charlie Geren (@charliegeren) June 12, 2019

 

 

Rep. Giovanni Capriglione (R-Southlake): Lawmaker Blocks People That Won’t Refer to Him as Captain

Amateur. Heck, I just started unblocking -you- this session! pic.twitter.com/ZJyd44Od3f

— Giovanni Capriglione (@VoteGiovanni) July 10, 2019

 

 

Rep. Steve Toth (R-The Woodlands): I Like Beer

I don’t know what a “Birding Excursion” is but I’d tell my wife I’m already booked up for a “beering excursion” instead. https://t.co/UvUfwMs0Rt

— Steve Toth (@Toth_4_Texas) July 3, 2019